Wearing the World like a Loose Garment

Letting Go of Attachments

St. Francis of Assisi (1181-1226 ce) is credited with the saying “Wear the world like a loose garment." 

In order to be truly free, it is beneficial to cultivate a relationship to external events where clinging does not occur, and to see that anything outside of the self which is seen as providing security is temporal at best. This approach to life doesn't imply ambivelance or lack of participation, but rather suggests that it is when we become attached that we suffer as attachment lends itself to disappointment due to failed expectations.

The first step is becoming willing to let go of anything: people, objects, and expectations. We begin to let go of looking outside of ourselves for satisfaction and pleasure, understanding that our true sense of joy is within. And, contrary to what at first may seem as negative or indifference, letting go of our attachments creates the chance to experience life without imposing our hopes, needs, dreams, wants, desires, and expectations on others which then creates freedom all around. The freedom to choose, both for ourselves and for others.

Byron Katie wisely says "As long as we continue to resist reality we will suffer". When we wear the world like a loose garment we are accepting reality without the need to change it and this is where suffering ends and freedom begins.

The Art of Not-Knowing

One of my spiritual teachers says there are 4 addictions that we can become caught in, and one of them is the Need to Know. At first glance, it might seem that asking questions in an effort to find answers is a productive and even necessary process, one that most of us learn during elementary education. "What is the answer, class?" is a common refrain heard from even the most seasoned teacher who is geared toward imputing information into the student followed by requiring the recitation of facts. Once the teacher has posed the question, hands shoot up into the air, "Pick me! I know the answer!" the enthusiastic students cry. Great rewards are given to those students who know.

Along the way we continue to learn many things and receive positive acknowledgement from the world at large when we demonstrate our knowledge including doctoral achievements and work place promotions. Suffice it to say, for those who don't know the "right" answers life can be challenging for there is little recognition which is bruising to the ego not to mention hard on the paycheck for those who seek promotions for their performance.

Then, as we age, there may come a time when we begin to question whether we really know as much as we thought we did. Perhaps some of the concepts which we have held tightly to as the glue in our view of the Universe ceased to feel as solid as they once did, being replaced by questions with no answers.

What happens after death?
How can I possibly know what is right for another human being?
Who or what is God?

And here we find the fertile realm of Not Knowing or what the Buddhists call "Beginners Mind".

If we assume that we know a person very very well, then in fact we may be closed off to surprises that this person may give to us. The operative word here is assume, for it is making the assumption that we know something with absolute certainty that closes us off to the sparkling creative process within each of us, the place of discovery! We may be blinded to new possibilities by our preconceptions. Adding the phrase "I don't know" to any thought can be liberating and help us to detach from the control our minds have over our feelings and help us release the stronghold of the ego which the opens the way for humility.

Suzuki Roshi said, “Not-knowing does not mean you don’t know." It means holding our opinions more lightly by being open and curious. Considering that maybe things are the way we think they are, and maybe not.

Question: How can I embrace uncertainty today?

Detachment and the True Nature of Compassion

"Everything is equally unimportant" -Don Juan speaking to Carlos Casteneda

I remember standing in line at the bank in 1975 and reading The Teachings of Don Juan by Carlos Casteneda and unbeknownst to me at the time, a lifelong interest in shamanism was taking root. I was literally spell bound, reading word for word the saga of Carlos in the desert, usually making quite a fool of himself as he trounced along with his intellectual concepts which were often times met with uproarious laughter on the part of the wise Shaman Don Juan. It was during this read that I first came face to face with what I would later come to realize were lessons in detachment.

Most of us learn that being compassionate is understanding anothers pain which often includes helping to ease that pain, listening with rapt attention, and most importantly problem solving in order to create a "better" outcome for our friend. All in the spirit of helping of course! But what Don Juan is speaking to is that when we become entangled albeit with the best of intentions with other people's issues, then we lose our own vital energies. We can become tired, confused, frustrated, and even sorrowful. Understanding with compassion does not by nature imply that action need be taken, and in fact it may imply the exact opposite: being a witness to the joys and sorrows of our friends lives while respecting their personal space gives them the wonderful gift of compassionate detachment.

Viewing the world through the lens of detachment allows us to encourage choice. When we support others in making their own choices even if we do not necessarily agree with those choices shows respect and promotes equality. And, when we detach with love then we avoid the traps of fear which include control, manipulation, and anxieties. We can turn off our thoughts which are judgmental and very convincing, instead focusing on our hearts, opening to love while remembering that we cannot with certainty know what is right for another human being. It is then that we may experience agape or true compassion.